Well as I said before I have a son from a previous relationship and his name is Zahir. Hes going to be 2 October 17. Its got me thinking about everything that's happened and how he came to be. I was in a relationship with his father for a year and left him when I was about 3 months pregnant. It was an abusive extremely unhealthy relationship I felt I was stuck in. He was a jealous man so he tried to separate me even from my family. They were against him and angry at me for allowing him to disrespect them the way I did. I lost myself in this relationship. I didn't even know who I was. He even changed my name to Amber and introduced me to perks. Its funny cause before I was angry at him and hated him for everything that happened but now I don't really feel anything.

                                                                       5 months

                                                                        9 months

My nephew- my sister was pregnant at the same time I was :-)

Zahir my Angel. When I got pregnant with him my life changed my priorities changed. Ok I didnt value myself and I was lost but after I got pregnant everything changed. I found hope and someone else to be better for. I stopped doing pills as soon as I found out. I decided to leave my babies father and do it on my own. I got my G.E.D and went to school to be a pharmaceutical tech, all while I was pregnant. I wanted nothing but the best for my unborn hero. It wasn't easy I suffered a lot the first months accepting the fact that one thing I couldn't give my son was a father. Also I thought of giving up on men 2. But Got over it quickly I'm not the type of person to dwell on the things I don't have control over. I'm not a masochist. I'm a positive, happy, dreamer and realist lol.

                                                                    My Graduation

Zahir Birthdate- 10/17/09 8 pounds 12oz

                                                                        1 week old

                                                           Santas house in Macys
                                       

                                                        Z 10 months- In Coney Island

                                                 
The moment I accepted my fate and embraced it god gave me the best of the best times of my life. My son turned out to be a genius and a wonderful easy kid. I met Tyler we became friends through a mutual friend and started Skyping regularly. Zahir was 3 months always in his swing while I was Skyping. By the time Z was 6 months he was always fascinated by Tyler's image on Skype and Tyler would actually sing him to sleep from cam! Seriously who wouldn't fall in love! I was still holding on to a grudge with my sons biological father when Tyler healed me completely. I was so happy with meeting my soul mate, my male reciprocal and best friend I just couldn't be unhappy for any reason but that he was so far from me in Bahrain for the Navy. Every one would criticize me for falling in love with a man I had never seen but in pictures or Skype. I didnt care about anything. First time I found someone that loved me for all that I was and I loved him for all that he was. Zahir even fell in love with him through cam. He called him dada Ty. I never influenced Z to call him dada but it came from his heart.

                                                            My gorgeous husband Tyler

We got married online through double proxy for military and he came to New York when he was transferred to the states again.I had my own little family. An amazing father and husband. When I gave up on love and focused on myself and Z he just happened to come along. I thought I was going to have to do as my mother had to being a single mom. But god proved me wrong. Were not always good financially and this is the only issue we have handling money. But I know its only going to get better.  I couldn't ask for more. Life is good :-)

I love his ringles

So ive decided to write a blog. Always wanted one but always had just to many thing going on in my life to have the time to dedicate to a blog. Now I have all the time in the world considering im a stay at home mom who recently relocated from NYC to Virginia to live with my husband who is an IT in the Navy.
Ok let me start from the beginning.

I met my Husband through a good friend that was dating his friend. She told me about visiting his place in Virginia and how nice he was. I added him him on his facebook. I fell in love with his pictures. One day he actually wrote me pretending to know me lol. After that we started talking on the regular. At the time I had a lot of things going on in my life. I had just had a baby and I was a Single mother. We would always skype. Then before we got a chance to meet he was transferred to Bahrain. I say this allowed us to get to know each other that much better. We would stay up night after night spilling our souls to each other over web cam for a whole year. Then before he was scheduled to come back we decided to get married through proxy. The best decision ive made my whole life. Everyone doubted us but eventually and even more today they know we are the real deal. I married my soul mate! We couldn't be happier.

Now were living in Norfolk, Virginia. I dont know anyone here but my hubby. Im a stay at home mom so that doesn't help me to meet people either. I also just discovered my husband is leaving on deployment soon. Every time we get hammered on the weekends i eventually end up crying about this in the closet lol. Yes i have a thing for closets when I get drunk. Ive been reading blogs from other military spouses and its actually been comforting me tremendously. So here I am  now wanting to do the same for someone else and just using this blog as a friend to talk 2 lol. Ok well Finally I wrote the ice breaker and im out.  I will be back :-)